Noviya Anna Aleksandrovna – GPhD in Medical Psychology and Psychophysiology IUFS
Kuzmenko Olga Petrovna – GPhD in Medicine and Psychophysiology IUFS
Annotation.
Based on ancient sources, scientific works on family relationships, own scientific and practical research and consultations of more than 340 married couples, as well as personal experience in their families, it was revealed that the family can be a source of health and happiness. To do this, you need to know and follow the rules of a happy family life.
Keywords
Family, happiness, love, sex, family values, relationships, parenting, older generation, long-livers, OK system.
Why does each of us dream of having a good family?
But is everyone ready to create such a family??
This issue is of concern to all generations.
According to the latest statistics, the following trend is observed – the number of people getting married is decreasing, while the number of divorces is growing. In recent years, more than 60% of marriages end in divorce.
Modern life with its mad tempo forces people to communicate little with each other in reality. Generations cease to understand each other – which in turn leads to a lack of understanding, mutual help and support from relatives in sorrow and joy.
And modern youth, looking at the experience in their family, are not ready to create a full-fledged, normal family, where there will be harmony, love, mutual understanding and proper interaction of spouses.
However, in the depths of the Soul, at a subconscious level, and who really wants to have close, dear, dear people next to him, who appreciate, love, understand and accept him for who he is. Even self-sufficient, strong personalities need this. Because family is our first source of happiness.
We begin our life in a family. Therefore, it is very important what it will be.
It is not without reason that psychologists around the world consider that all personality problems take theirs birth early childhood. And this depends on the relationships in the family, where the life of a child begins and the formation of his personality, psyche and consciousness takes place.
Person will manifest himself in society and in his future family according to behavior of a family he grew up. Person will bring the same (similar) model to society and to his future family according to the model of behavior that he saw in the parental family.
Our society consists of individuals, and the personality begins to form in the family. Therefore, it is necessary to revive family traditions and form a competent attitude towards family values and responsibilities.
Every person needs to go through the school of building correct relationships in society. And you need to start with your family. Because harmony in the family is a guarantee of building a harmonious society in which everyone’s needs will be satisfied. At the same time, members of society must be able to interact correctly and respect each other.
Social relationships sometimes require you to follow certain rules of behavior. Therefore, in society, a person cannot always be sincere – to stay oneself. He has to pretend, play someone else’s role, “putting on masks” in accordance with situations.
Only in the family is a person is in a system where everyone interacts with each other without pretense and any masks.
Pretending, we always strain and we get vasospasms, which can lead to various diseases. Remaining oneself, a person stays a relaxed and “treated” from the stresses manifested in society.
Only in a good family we can find our reliable rear.
Therefore, forming the right relationships in our families, we remain not only happy, but also physically healthy. In fact, happy families form the health of a nation.
The strength of a tree is in the roots. The strength of a man in the strength of his genus. The fortress of genus is in strong families.
The heart of the family is the spouse. Initially, they are the ones who must understand their tasks and the role of everyone in the family.
It must be remembered that the family is the “Seven «I»” (in Russian language the word Seven is consonant to the word Family, like in English saying F.A.M.I.L.Y. = Father And Mother I Love You). The family consists of 7 people who have created a family – these are: father, mother, child, father’s parents, mother’s parents (grandmothers – grandfathers of the child). When there are many families in a genus – this is a dynasty. Dynasty = di (Latin «doubled») + n (nation) + as (like us) + t (the same) + y (you) – an increase in people like us.
Therefore, even single people and members of incomplete families have relatives by blood – members of their genus (grandchildren, nephews, brothers and sisters – relatives, cousins – second cousins … and the children of their children, etc.)
All family members must respect each other and learn to satisfy everyone’s needs. Unfortunately, is still rare. It is necessary to receive the relevant knowledge as soon as possible to achieve such harmony.
When a person is tangled in a maze and cannot find a way out, he looks for an entrance to it. The entrance to the labyrinth is our past and this is the past of our society, when happy families were the majority.
What are the secrets and rules for a happy family life??
They learned these rules from the very birth, being in their family. There is a saying that “Every family is unhappy in its own way, but happy are all the same.” There used to be rules for a happy life.
It is known from ancient sources that healthy, talented and beautiful children are born to couples who are in a state of great love for each other at the moment of conception. In dissertation papers in 2018-2019. We conducted a study of more than 340 married couples and their families, in which it was proved that such qualities as genius (where children were conceived in love), criminal inclinations and mental disorders (in families where scandals were present and selfish dominated preferences).
Love plays the main role in creating a family. Therefore, the conclusion of a family union (not marriage) took place out of mutual love. People knew how to love and become happiness for others. And a person saw this skill on the example of his family (instead of quarrels, scandals, clarification of relationships and presentation of selfish claims).
In our studies of more than 144,000 people (from 1979 to 2000), it was found that you can love another person for his dignity, for his ability to love or love without any conditions, accepting him for who he is. And it doesn’t matter for what reason to love another, the main thing is to have the very quality of love, that is, to be able to love
Sexual relations play a significant role in the harmonious relationship of spouses. Sex is one of the manifestations of the feeling of love for your partner. (Today the word “sex” has been replaced by another and began to be called “making love.” And how can you “make love”? they are two different concepts.). Also, sexual energy is the energy of creation, including the creation of relationships within the family. Therefore, in all religions and confessions, adultery is condemned, bringing instead of creation – the destruction of family values.
In our research, it was also revealed that a person’s behavior in sex reflects his behavior in business, person’s sex life also affects his health, the health of his partner and his opportunities in business. Therefore, sexual life of a person is not only his personal life.
According to studies of ancient sources and rules of Home-Building (in Russian: “Domostroy” – the main book about building relationships in the house) – the main creative force in the family has always belonged to men. They were the ones who were involved in the educating of children. Because the man’s brain helps him to think strategically and is able to foresee the future of the child, depending on his behavior at the moment. The woman’s brain tells her the tactics of behavior at the present time. Therefore, the role of a woman in the family is love and care. The man’s role is to make strategic decisions. No wonder the husband is compared to the head, and the wife to the neck. The neck should nourish and support the head. Also, the husband is compared to the roof of the house, and the wife to its walls. The stronger the wall is, the longer the house will stand. The house needs a secure roof. Since the roof of the house is a protection from external influences. The wife must be firm and strong, and the husband must be strong and reliable.
These qualities need to be brought up from childhood or self-educated.
According to our data, it was found that only 33% of those surveyed are capable of self-education. It’s not even half. Therefore, it is necessary to properly educate your children and grandchildren.
Based on many years of research in various scientific works in the field of family relations, as well as using our scientific and practical observations during consultations of numerous married couples, as well as our personal family experience, we have identified the following: in order for the relationship between spouses to be strong, spouses must observe 4 rules:
– do not abuse each other;
– do not demean the dignity of another;
– raise everyone in their own eyes;
– support and help to implement everything conceived.
At the same time, spouses should be sincere and friendly to each other, discuss emerging problems, help in difficult situations and rejoice at each other’s successes.
From time to time, you need to arrange family holidays, as “in the good old days”, bringing joy to the family.
It is important to respect and honor your elders. It is known that these traditions have been preserved in the countries of the East and the Caucasus. According to statistics, the number of centenarians prevails in these countries. It is necessary for all peoples to adopt and maintain these rules. The older generation has life experience and imparts to young people the wisdom and knowledge necessary for correct understanding and relationships between people. You need to take care of your “old people” and promote their healthy longevity.
When raising children, you need to follow the traditions of your Ancestors, forming in them the correct worldview and worldview.
In the end, lets draw conclusions:
For a family that wants to be a source of health and happiness, you need to follow the rules of a happy life.
- Healthy, talented and beautiful children are born to couples who, at the moment of conception, are in a state of great love for each other.
- Love plays the main role in creating a family.
- Sex is one of the manifestations of the feeling of love for your partner.
Person’s behavior in sex reflects his behavior in business, person’s sex life also affects his health, the health of his partner and his opportunities in business.
- The main creative force in the family should belong to the man. Men should take an active part in educating children. The role of a woman in a family is love and care. The wife must be firm and strong, and the husband must be strong and reliable.
- For the relationship between spouses to be strong, spouses must follow 4 rules:
– do not abuse each other;
– do not demean the dignity of another;
– raise everyone in their own eyes;
– support and help to implement everything conceived.
Spouses should be sincere and friendly to each other, discuss emerging problems, help in difficult situations and rejoice at each other’s success.
- From time to time you need to arrange family holidays, bringing joy to the family.
- It is important to respect and honor the elders, to take care of their “old people” and to promote their healthy longevity.
- When raising children, you need to follow the traditions of your Ancestors, forming in them the correct worldview and worldview.
